THOUGHTS 19 Sept

• What am I feeling right now?

 Im feeling a little empty, lost. Tired aswell and actually a bit ill. Weakness. Im not feeling very well. Like im not me, not myself. Not even sure what I am or why im such a stranger to myself and others. And why others are such strangers. And why do I not really want to connect with anybody. And why this has been pretty much the story of my life. Feeling a lot of disconnect. Like I dont have anything to offer to this world, to contribute, to leave behind. Its all just so syrreal and im not sure what Im meant to be doing.

• What am I thankful for? 
Thats a good one. When youre feeling off are you able to be thankful. My mind could come up with all kinds of things ofcourse but would I be genuine If I actually felt like shit. I guess Im thankful to be aware of myself. It means I am not all that. Im not those feelings in my body or those thoughts in my mind. I am aware of them, but who is aware ? I am is aware, which is separate of them. So its interesting, ofcourse I would love to conjure up a different state of being. To not be so reactive nor fearful. But i cant be ignorant either so it starts with acceptance and awareness. I mean this is Now

 . • What did I have problems with?  

Very tired today. A lot of sleeping. Just some weird shit going on lol ! 

• What are my plans for tomorrow? 

Either go to the city or do some work at home ! 

• Other thoughts & ideas 

Not really, loving the book at the moment. Joe dispenza letting go of the habit of being yourself. I feel this book has the potential to change everything for the better. Aho for that !