Completion Process
Hello !
Just a quick book recommendation on Shadow Work. I've found it's the most thorough one out there and really goes indebt about the mechanics, why we need to and practical steps do perform it on yourself.
I'm just going to outline my highlights, but I really do recommend you to read the book yourself to ..well, complete the process. :)
Why need Shadow Work? First we need to understand psychology and the way our psyche gets disassociated or rather split off from ourselves. Splintered, like a broken glass. It has separate parts of itself that are almost unaware of its other selves. Imagine those parts are pushed into the debts of our unconsciousness and play themselves out whenever they get triggered. That is a lot of energy not integrated and can cause havoc in your conscious life if not properly dealt with. In a way it's a part of your responsibility of being an adult- to illuminate and reintegrate those aspects so you can be a healthy contribution to society and the greater whole. I mean it's absolutely essential if one wants to live a wholesome life. Everyone who was ever socialized went through this process of splitting themselves into parts. We grow up with some parts owned and others rejected. The self-rejection is the birth of self-hate. The emptiness we feel is the result of those rejected parts of ourselves. But I'll let Teal Swan herself explain it further:
"A dissociative state is a psychological state when someone separates from an experience. In this way, dissociation is a defense mechanism or coping mechanism that enables us to avoid unpleasant experiences. There are mild and severe forms of it.
Dissociation can be seen on a spectrum the same way that trauma can. At the mildest end of dissociation, a person could simply daydream instead of focusing on what they are doing or experiencing in the moment. Or a person might go numb. At the severe end of dissociation spectrum, a person might completely detach from reality and start to experience periods of time when they lose a sense of identity or create new identities. This is sometimes seen when someone has experienced ritual abuse, sexual abuse, or the ravages of war.
Any kind of dissociation creates a split within the person, between her conscious self and her subconscious self. If dissociation happens frequently, we will have many splits within ourselves.
By dissociating from an experience, you push it out of your awareness so you don't have to endure the pain or discomfort of the feelings associated with the event. It also serves the mind because it prioritizes survival- not just physical survival, but also mental and emotional survival. If you were a small child dependent upon someone who was abusing you, you would have no choice but to remain attached to that person.
In essence, the cognitive dissonance associated with "living with the monster" is so great that you actually could not go on living in the atmosphere of that much terror. So, by suppressing the memory of the abuse, you maintain your attachment to the adult who is abusing you and thus ensure your survival.
(So, early on we had to go against our own truth because we were dependent. We are basically forced to wear so many masks that no wonder we end up not knowing who we truly are. Earth in a way is a breeding ground for actors, like if you've completely lost touch with your soul essence you get 'promoted' with a one way ticket to Hollywood :D)
As you work through the Completion Process, you may well recover many memories you have forgotten and additional detail about memories you already consciously remember. You will see just how traumatizing certain experiences were in your past and just how much of your current life has been shaped by those experiences."
She goes on about the rejected self in more detail but then peaks my interest again with the topic of projection: "We are matches to those who mirror the aspect of ourselves that we have suppressed. We are attracted to them, even though they seem to be our opposite, because the rejected part of ourself is still deeply hidden.
The crucial thing to understand is that we can see the things in other people that we are totally unaware of in ourselves. This is the essence of projection. When we see our own negative aspects, the ones we had previously rejected, show up in others, it triggers a response. We have the same reaction to that aspect that we had to it long ago: reject it, hate it, get rid of it, do anything to avoid it!
On the other hand, when we see our own positive aspects show up in another person, we fall in love because it feels like our opportunity to become whole. We want more of it. We become addicted to it. We glorify it, put it on a pedestal, and even idolize it.
Jonah 2:8: "Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.
Its a sin because it's essentially an unconscious pattern. I don't think there's anything wrong in loving someone or their art, as long as you appreciate from a sense of wholeness not avoidance.
However this is not about my ideas or God's commands, but about glorifying the Completion Process ;) Jokes aside this book is full of gems I try to make it short as possible but I'm already leaving out so much good stuff.
Continuing...
What's all the drama about?
Drama originally meant "to act." This is why the word debuted in the world of performance art and theatre. As it relates to your emotional life, drama is a state, situation, or series of events involving intense conflict. Put these two things together and you have the definition of a person who is dramatic, a person who acts as if they are in a state of intense conflict.
The perception is that a person who is dramatic or who is a drama queen or king is either overreacting or is acting for the sake of attention, much like a performer on stage. You know the type of person I mean, someone who acts as if things are much worse than you think they actually are. Because of this, there's a stigma associated with drama. We often hear people say, "I'm done with all the drama," or "He's addicted to drama," or "She's just a drama queen."
I don't subscribe to this thinking at all, and I'd like to get this out of the way right here and now: when it applies to the human emotional experience, there is no such thing as drama. When you make a judgment that someone is creating drama or is just being dramatic, you minimize and shame them for their feelings. I can assure you that these feelings are actually very real.
In truth, no one overreacts. People react exactly in accordance with the reality that they alone perceive.
This next bit is such a great reminder for pretty much all of you zealots out there :D
People who say, "I don't want any more drama in my life," usually mean they are sick of dramatic people in their life or they are sick of interpersonal conflict. But drama isn't about the people around you; it's actually about you. I know if I experience conflict with others, I have conflict within myself. I am at war with myself. It's the same for everyone. If you are surrounded by drama, you can't easily cut all the drama out of your life becuase you are, in fact, the one who is attracting it.
Hold on we are just about to get to the juicy stuff.
When you have a strong emotional reaction to something today, the strong reaction means that your past trauma has been triggered and wants to be integrated. We can then use the emotion that is surfacing in real time to find the aspect of yourself that has been rejected, whether it's a personal trait, a belief, a memory, or a feeling. By finding it and feeling it, you integrate it back into your present awareness and, thus, become whole again. This is the underlying premise of the Completion Process
And here is why I keep coming back to this book, also because of the corporation I'm running here, no wonder I'm a frequency match, or most likely cause I am just fake as fuck and desperately need psychospiritual surgery ;)
We will always be emotional orphans if we wait for someone else to lovingly parent the underdeveloped parts of ourselves. We will always be powerless if we wait for someone else to rescue the part of us that needs to be rescued. And we will always be unhealed if we wait for someone to take care of the parts of us that need to be cared for.
Here's a great video for you to watch that might be revealing. This was very relevant for me anyway, especially the sabotaging part. Anyway check it out for yourself and share in the comments your favorite movies your character identifies with.
I will leave it at that for now, didn't think it was going to be that long but it deserves 2 posts for sure. I'll be back with the actual steps, just need to confirm with the legal team if I'm allowed to give away the secret sauce. Meanwhile feel free to subscribe so you'll get updated about the release and most importantly grab yourself a copy. It's definitely worth it!
Peace out !